Little E is 6 months old

How this happened, I can't tell you.

Gigantor weighs 20lbs 3oz and is 27 1/2". His head is epic.

Just to review, he was 5lbs 11oz when we toted him home.

This little man owns me.

You'd think being unemployed and all would afford ample time to blog.

The only big news is the new addition to our family.

Not that kind of addition, as is clearly illustrated by the lack of blood and tears in this post.

PD went to a gun show today with her father and grandfather and came home with a small, soft shelled turtle named Snake.

When the hell people started hawking turtles at gun shows, I can't tell you. While the turtle is cute, he'll likely outlive me and evidently carries a risk of Salmonella. I have washed my child's hands five times in the last two hours.

Feast your eyes on Snake, the disease riddled flavor of the month.

Just when you think you know your kids...

We had el cheapo pictures taken tonight of the children in their Christmas regalia. I fully expected this to be an ass whip of epic proportions.

Winky, the narc elf, must have a real hold over them, as the teenage girl taking the pictures was able to capture these images.

And my personal favorite...

Crisis Mode

So, clearly I haven't been a swell blogger of late. One or both kids has been sick for over three weeks. I'm going to lose it soon.

PD is exactly three and a half today.
It was one year ago today that we found out about Little E.

Sappy: Seeing them together melts my heart. For now, it's a mutual adoration society.

Hard Truth: At least four times a day I consider giving them to the first person I see outside so that I could take a nap.

Look, it's cute and funny so get over it.

I've seen other people do it and like the results, so this evening I made my husband gut a pumpkin and then I made my kid sit in it while I documented the experience. Little E had a screaming day, so I figure he owes me.

These are the stages of pumpkin entrapment from grief to acceptance.

Stage One:
This is BULLSHIT!!! You cannot do this to me! I have rights!!

Stage Two:  Wait. Wait just a minute. I think I may be able to EAT this S.O.B.

Stage Three:
Chomp, chomp, chomp.

Stage Four:
I am sated. Remove me from this autumnal fruit.

In the true style of my youngest child, he took what could have been a real crap day and ate it.

Avery {Birth Stories}

Avery {Birth Stories}

This is an AMAZING birth story and the pictures are breathtaking.

I had to give PD a mini Twix at 8am to get this picture.

It's a crappy cell picture, but still a worthy investment. Even if she does appear to be mid-wedge pick.